HAT HAPPENED? I announce my brand new “weblog,” treat you to one mediocre post, and then what? Starve to death? Swallow drain cleaner? Get a day job? Get bored of the whole enterprise? Quite to the contrary, everything is just fine, and I’ve been eating like a king, albeit a modest king. King of the Carnies, from the looks of all the hot dogs and hot-dog-like items and fried dough I’ve been consuming lately. But allow me to explain my temporary absence. I got evicted.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. And my thoughts about this can of soup are as follows. It is simple and delicious, especially with a few dashes of Tabasco. When you’re a little kid and home sick, or coming in from a day of sledding, or some insufferable “Calvin and Hobbes” crap of that nature, it’s just the ticket. But when you are rounding thirty years old, semi-employed, and what little you own is in the trunk of a car whose brakes are about to go, do not eat this soup. Every watery bite will make you feel like the fingerless-gloves-wearing hobo you are on your way to becoming. And I should clarify that while this was the one meal I ate in the studio, it is not a meal I ate only once. It’s easier than you think to get into the habit of eating a can of soup for every meal, perhaps with a side of Andy Capp’s® Oven Baked Hot Fries. Remember, dear readers, you’re only as poor as your food tastes.