FTER UNDERGOING EXTENSIVE PAST-LIFE, or rather past-month, regression therapy, my associate Cricket (the names have not been changed) was able to remember how to make oyster stew. Sort of. For the brave souls who would like to try this at home, and who have a cauldron handy, I give you her ‘recipe’: “I have watched them a couple of times. They throw a big glob of butter into the hot skillet, where it
sizzles . . .”
“Then they start throwing in the condiments from the tray—lots
of chopped garlic, tomatoes, the green herb mixture—what else? Did
you get a picture of that tray?” I did. Here it is. Chopped green onions—but what the hell is that mixture that looks like fermented grass clippings?
“After sautéing for a couple of minutes, they open a quart of
oysters and pour them into the pan. They shake that around for a minute
or two and then pour in a bunch of cream. When that is hot, they add it to the big cauldron at the end of the line. . . . Now, somehow potatoes show up in this concoction, which raises the
question of the big pot—did they start out with chowder base? Or just
potatoes? Is the guy at the end adding already-cooked potatoes? This is
something we will have to investigate next year.”
